Obviously, if you are currently living with the person, there will be times in which you have to speak. However, "talking" doesn't necessarily mean "communicating." In this case, keep the communication limited to only what is necessary until such time that you can separate. But once you separate, communication of any kind must cease completely.

DOES IT REALLY WORK?

Certain fundamentalist religions—past and present—have known for hundreds of years that to kill a person’s relationships, all they had to do was cut them off. For example, hundreds of years ago, the Catholic Church would “excommunicate” a person (cut off communication) and then label him or her a “heretic.” This action effectively ended that person’s relationships with any and all who professed the same religious beliefs (which was everyone). Of course, during the middle ages, the Catholic Church often went further and killed the person as well. Fortunately, times have changed and now the Catholic Church rarely, if ever, excommunicates anyone, let alone kills them outright.

In modern times, fundamentalist-extremist cult-religions such as Jehovah’s Witnesses will “disfellowship” (excommunicate) any who do not comply with the organization’s beliefs. This is a control and manipulation tactic that effectively cuts the person off from every friend and family member who is also of the same religion (usually the person’s entire circle of friends). This means that the person’s former friends and family members will literally turn their heads away and remain silent when encountering the disfellowshipped member. The person is completely and utterly ignored. This shunning and complete lack of communication often results in depression, existential crises, alcoholism, and, in some cases, suicide for the person cut off.*

While this practice of shunning certainly classifies the religion as a cult, it also serves to demonstrate how effective cutting off communication can be. Of course, cutting off communication should be only used for the right purpose, such as toxic, dysfunctional, or destructive relationships (a difference of religious beliefs is not the right purpose. Everyone is entitled to their own beliefs without judgment).

YOUR NEXT STEP

In codependent relationships (that often involve substance abuse), the person desiring to end the relationship will often cave into the toxic person’s attempts to perpetuate the relationship (such as them being nice and considerate when they were not before). Phone calls are accepted, emails returned, offers to get together, etc., which does nothing other than to re-establish the relationship.

Lack of communication will kill any relationship.

If you desire to end a bad relationship, then stop communicating with that person—immediately and completely. Do not try to explain yourself—for explanations rarely explain; do not take their phone calls, do not return their emails; do not respond to their Instant Messages; do not contact them to “tell them off”—release your need to vent, or vent to someone else. Simply stop communicating completely. The instant you stop communicating is the instant the relationship is over.

Now, give yourself permission to not talk to the person. Take your power back and do the right thing for all concerned, but especially for you.