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We
all have them.
I
sit here tonight and think of my life. When I was young, I had the vision
of wanting to be a school teacher. I used to love playing school in our
basement, with our old desk and chalkboard. As the years passed, I found
myself in many activities of life, and with many visions.
After
graduating from high school, I entered college with the vision of becoming
a special education teacher. The first semester was great, but I missed my
boyfriend at home. Christmas came that year and I got engaged. The new
vision of being a wife now came upon me. The vision of baking the
cookies… ironing the shirts… the vision of the house with the little
white picket fence…. I finished that year of college and then quit to
start that vision which so enamored me.
Needless
to say, that vision soon hit reality—hard reality. I became a waitress
in a restaurant for 5 years, then found a part time job at a local
hospital. I then had the vision of children. I had gotten married at the
age of 19 and now had my first child at the age of 22 (he is now 21 and
will graduate soon from college). As the visions of life passed me by, I
had two more children. Life was busy, and there was not much time for me
and my visions. My life was now focused on raising the kids.
My
vision of the happy homemaker came crashing down after 14 years of
marriage ending in divorce. I then found myself on my own and raising my
three small children. At times life was so hectic with working two jobs
that I found it hard to survive.
I
still had that vision inside of wanting that happy relationship and home
life, and so, I found myself falling in love again, and this man made my
world spin! He made me happy. We had so many great times together. We
would go out for fun nights of dancing. I can remember dancing in his arms
spinning about the dance floor being so much in love.
We
talked; we shared. The vision of being happy again and spending my life
with him started to develop. I had the visions of it all: love; happiness;
togetherness. Ever have those?
Slowly
this vision started to fade. Things changed. I thought he loved me so
much.
We
had our challenging and rocky times with me not understanding it all and
me fighting to keep it all together. We were to be engaged. Heck, we even
did pre-engagement counseling. I can remember the therapist saying,
“Before you say I do, he really needs to deal with his alcohol
issues.” He would say he knew he abused alcohol, but was not an
alcoholic. Why is it then, that so many times he was drunk? this man I so
loved; was it pain he was trying to cover? Pain from what? What was
happening to my happy visions? They were fading away. They were replaced
with stress, tears, and arguments; me being blamed; me being told “you
don’t listen, you don’t understand,” and “you only care about
yourself.” The vision then exploded. All was lost. My hope, my
happiness, and my family (I had moved away from my family and friends to
be closer to him). I was left to pick up the pieces of my visions.
Where
does one begin with their visions? I have learned—and want to
share—that it begins with believing in yourself! You must truly be happy
with yourself before your visions can become reality. One must live in the
moment. You must stay focused on your vision. Journaling along the path of
your visions helps tremendously. Write your visions down. Keep them where
you can see them. What is it you visualize? Think positive thoughts.
Don’t doubt yourself. Believe in yourself and your visions. All things
are possible, are they not?
How
do they say it… “All good things come to those who wait”? Patience
is a virtue. Be patient with yourself. As they say, “Rome was not built
in a day,” and neither is your vision going to become reality in just
one day. It takes time and it takes you placing your best foot forward and
beginning to take those steps for the vision to happen. Best of all, when
you realize and visualize that the vision is about you and what you
choose, you will really see the light of that vision come shining through!
As
a final thought, here is my definition of vision:
V
— Victory
I
— Independence
S—
Strength
I
— Insight
O—
Ongoing
N
— New Life
You
see, with self Victory we gain Independence, Strength,
Insight and with all of it being Ongoing, we have the
ultimate Vision—New Life!
P.S.
I still have some of those yearnings of being a school teacher, but I
think the teacher part of me is being brought out by being able to share
with others like yourself who has had, at one time or another, your
visions shattered as well.
--Robin
Walters, January 2006 |
